Even before I had my own babies I always thought it would be so cool to be a surrogate. To give the gift of life to someone who is unable to. Then when I was able to experience pregnancy twice I knew it was a calling of mine to help someone else. I always had fairly smooth pregnancies and I truly enjoyed being pregnant. I wasn't super sick and never threw up and I was able to stay active which I think helped my deliveries as well.
After I had Aspen I remember missing pregnancy but I wasn't quite ready to add another baby to our family yet. I started to seriously consider surrogacy and whether it was the right decision for me or not. I remember talking to my husband and sister about it. Of course my husband was on board and supported me. He always goes with my crazy ideas. My sister told me I should pray about it and if it felt right to go for it. That evening I drove myself near the river and just sat on a rock by it and thought about surrogacy and if it was the right thing for me. I remember saying a little prayer that night and I felt at peace with starting the process.
The first thing I did was get on facebook and found some surrogacy match groups. I asked what my first steps would be and it wasn't too long before an agency reached out to me and started asking me lots of questions. They asked about my past pregnancy and delivery experiences. They asked about my mental health and reasons for wanting to pursue surrogacy. We had a couple interviews with couples and nothing really felt like it was the right fit. I decided to post about myself on a Facebook page to see if I would want to do this without an agency. A few women ended up messaging me and we got to know each other quite a bit. I talked to a woman named Ofa and she already had her first surro babe on the way but was trying to line up a second one for a sibling journey. She already knew all the ins and outs of going independently so we talked on the phone to see if we could make a good match. We got along really well and actually had a lot in common. We decided to meet up in person. I remember feeling so nervous but also excited. We met at a restaurant and right away our husbands were already chatting and getting along. I left that day feeling so excited about what the future would hold.
Fast forward to September 3, 2023. My friends Holly and Adara and I decided we wanted to go around the neighborhood for a ride. I remember I couldn't get in my tack room so I went bareback. Everything was going great until Tacoma got spooked about something and went down on the asphalt trapping my right foot between her rib cage and the road. Ended up breaking my foot in 4 different places. We went to the dr and got an x-ray and they knew pretty quickly it would require surgery. I reached out to Ofa and told her the bad news and she said something around the lines of "Take your time healing, we are in no rush. Just reach out when you are ready". Apparently she changed her mind later on and decided to go with a different surrogate. I was crushed. I read her message on my phone and just started crying. I felt rejected. Sounds a little dramatic but I really wanted to help this family.
I had been following Taylor and Abbel on instagram for quite a while. Taylor was pretty transparent and shared a lot on social media about their infertility struggles and I still remember the day she shared about Jade and Jude. I thought about her and Abbel for a while after that. In October I reached out to Taylor and truly didn't know a decent way of saying "Hey can I have your baby for you??" But I'm so so grateful I did. She messaged back and said she wasn't sure if they were there yet but I would be at the top of the list if they decide to. Taylor said they would be going to a fertility clinic around Christmas time to discuss the process and talk about timing. By January we were starting the process and the rest is history!
I can't help but think that the whole breaking my foot thing was all in the plan. I was meant to be a carrier specifically for Taylor and Abbel. They took such good care of me every step of the way from meals, to protein powders and electrolytes, gift cards, a huge gift bag for my "princess weekend", I can't even remember but so much more. It never ever felt transactional. They both constantly thanked me and told me how much they appreciate it all. I still remember during our psych evaluation the lady asked me how I pictured labor/delivery going. I told her I had pictured that moment many times and described to her exactly how I thought it would go. When I was done describing it I remember Abbel getting emotional and talking about what a sacrifice it is to do this and how grateful he was that I would even consider it. Throughout the months of being a surrogate so many told me how selfless it was that I would do this for someone. I remember especially at the baby shower just getting flooded with compliments and honestly it made me grateful but also a little uncomfortable. After all of Taylor and Abbels losses and heartbreak I felt it was the least I could do for them. Surrogacy almost feels like a calling and I am just so blessed I get to be a little chapter in the Aiono's story and that I get that special bond with Sailor. What a cool experience it was.
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