3/19/2020 2am Mark finally crawls into bed after working with Caleb in the garage on his truck most of the evening. 4am I remember I was sleeping on my left side and rolled over to my right side for my 3rd potty break that night. I remember wondering if I was having a contraction because my stomach felt really tight (I was never good at recognizing contractions). I got onto the right side and swung my legs over and started to stand up when a gush of fluid poured out. "Mark! I think my water just broke!" I said. He jumped out of bed, turned on the light, and immediately ran over to me and said "We're having a baby!" It was pretty cute. I didn't even know what to do at this point. To be honest I just wanted to clean my sheets and my carpet immediately.. but turns out the water breaking doesn't really have an end point. It just kept coming! I stood there for a minute wondering what to do.. then I thought I'll go to the bathroom so it's easier to clean off the tile. Still, it kept coming. Finally I decided I'd just jump in the bath tub so I didn't feel so gross. Meanwhile, Mark is shaking. Like adrenaline rushing through his veins shaking. The only time I see him shake like that is when he kills a huge buck. He keeps pacing to the closet and back and doesn't really seem to know what he is doing. The dogs were a little confused and I remember watching Ruger get up and walk to the closet in back while he is walking through my "fluids" (gross I know). Luckily, my hospital bag is packed it just needed a few last minute things like my contacts, deodorant, and my toothbrush. Mark packs up that stuff and we head to the hospital and get there about 5am.
We walked through the ER entrance and tell them my water just broke. She asks me how far apart my contractions are and I tell her I have no idea. She asks us all the Corona Virus questions then lets us in. We head to the delivery room and the nurse hands me a gown to change into. I told her I packed a cute one and asked her if now was the time to put it on (haha) she said no because I'll be getting messy. Then a larger nurse came in and said she was going to measure me to see how far I was dilated and if my water really did break. That was not comfortable. After some torture she finally decided she was going to get a nurse with smaller hands. This nurse was a lot less aggressive with her hands and decided I was 1cm dilated. So we knew it would be a long day. Dr. Ludlow came in and told me I just needed to be patient. I really liked him. He said we'd go ahead and start the pitocin and get my epidural in so I could just relax. Which was nice. The anesthesiologist came in to do my epidural. That felt super weird. It wasn't very painful, just weird. Mark held my hand the whole time. Then the nurse put in my IV and started the Pitocin. Mark tried to sleep on the super uncomfortable couch in the delivery room and we just turned on the TV and tried to be patient. I remember wondering when I could eat again since I thought I was starving. About 10am they delivered Mark's breakfast which he said wasn't very good. He kept sneaking me fruit leather and crackers. The nurse said I was allowed to have Jell-O, popsicles, and water. Throughout the day we mostly napped, watched TV, and Mark left a few times to check on the dogs for us. Mark was also brought lunch and dinner which he said were both really good. At one point we heard a lady next door in delivery and she was screaming and nurses were shouting and running in and out of our room to get supplies. Maybe 15 minutes later there was a baby crying. That was interesting. Nurses came in and out to measure me and I was slowly dilating but it took all day it seemed. Eventually Dr. Ludlow put in a foley catheter to hopefully make me dilate faster. Every time a nurse came in to measure me I was about 1cm more dilated which was about every other hour. Long day but at least I was comfortable. There was a point during all that where I could feel contractions on my left side and that was a bit painful. The nurse called in the anesthesiologist and I immediately felt relief. That's when I thought to myself, "How do people do this without drugs?". Respect to those ladies. Wow.
About 10:30pm rolled around and Courtney (my favorite nurse) measured me and said it was finally time to start pushing! Just then, Dr. Laraway walked in (in his street clothes) and Courtney told him that it was time. He left and changed into his scrubs while the nurses prepped my room. They brought in the baby incubator and two other nurses along with a bunch of sterile instruments. Dr. Laraway came in and said he was drinking his favorite drink which made Mark and I laugh. Finally the time came to start pushing. They put me in the stirrups. Courtney was on my left leg and Mark on my right. I couldn't feel my legs at all. The Dr placed a stool right in front of me and mostly sat there with his arms folded. Every time a contraction came they told me to push. I was pushing with everything I had. It was exhausting. I remember my biceps hurting because I did a dumb bell workout the night before and now I was using my arms to pull my legs in toward me and push. At one point Heartland was playing on the TV which made me real happy. Then Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader was going and Dr. Laraway played along with the questions. A little less than an hour later and I could tell it was getting close because Dr. Laraway finally put on his sterile gown and gloves. Courtney said she could see Walker's head and asked if I wanted to feel. I did then puked all over.. not sure why. The nurses asked if I wanted to see him come out and of course I did! They got a mirror and I could see everything. It helped me to push harder since I could see him come out a little during every push. They started to have me push 4 times instead of 3 during every contraction. Finally he came out and the Dr put him on my chest. Walker immediately wrapped his tiny fingers around mine and was squeezing my fingers so tight. He wasn't screaming much so they took him to the incubator and the nurses were looking him over. I heard one of the nurses ask for the respiratory therapist which was a little scary but Mark was right next to him and seemed calm so I didn't worry too much. I watched the Dr. stitch me up and he said I had a 2nd degree tear almost 3rd degree. They brought Walker back to me and said to watch for odd breathing patterns. We did skin to skin. The first thing Mark said about his son was, "Oh great, he has your ears".
I immediately was in love with that little boy. I know people talk about how much love a mother has for their child but you really can't comprehend it until he is right there looking in your eyes. He seemed so perfect to me. Everything about him. I didn't sleep much that night because I was terrified he'd stop breathing. At one point I told Mark I wished he was back in my belly because he seemed so much safer in there. It's unreal how much I love this tiny little human. So excited for the next adventures with Walker Douglas.
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