I have been wanting to write about this for a long time. Mostly because I want Walker to hear this story when he's older and see how hardcore his mom is (HAHA).
August 17, 2019 was the archery hunt opener. Mark and I look forward to this day.. all year round. So much preparation and shooting practice to prepare us to be 20+ yards from a gorgeous buck. It is, by far, my favorite hunt. Something about the bow hunt gets my blood pumping. The weather is perfect. We have prepared all summer to be here. We've got in the reps, built up our poundage on our bows, and sighted them in so we feel confident. The bow hunt is challenging. You have to get close enough to feel confident in your ability to get a kill shot, but also not too close that the bucks can't smell, see, or hear you. What a rush of adrenaline.
I believe I was 7 weeks pregnant at the time so the first trimester nausea was in full swing, which luckily for me it really never got too bad. I could tell that I didn't have as much stamina or energy to hike like I wanted to. That first morning I took it easy and went on a short solo hike and sat near one of our trail cameras where we had some activity. That evening I basically did the same hike and didn't see much.
August 18, 2019 was the morning we decided to leave the basin we were camping in and go back to what we call our "base camp", where our trailers are parked and all our food is stashed. We got more practice shooting in, ate food, and napped in preparation for the evening hunt. That's when everything went south for me. Mark and his buddy Caleb decided that evening they wanted to take out their e-bikes and go to another basin. I originally told Mark I would stay close to camp and just do a short hike since I wasn't feeling super great. I changed my mind and decided I'd take the razor out and do a little road hunting in search of a good trail to hike. All I have ever wanted is to take a buck on a solo hunt. I just think it would be such a cool accomplishment to not have any help from anyone. So that was my plan that evening.
I drove the razor down a familiar road hoping to spot some deer or a good trail. As I rounded a corner I thought I saw a deer and it distracted me a little. Keep in mind.. I am a huge wimp. I was not going fast. The road had some lose gravel and when I looked back toward the road I was getting too close to a big dip on the other side. I tried to correct it but the lose gravel gave me no traction. I slid into a tree with my passenger tire and as I hit the steering wheel popped over and hit my left hand hard then the whole thing rolled onto the drivers side. Thankfully I had my seat belt on and I was gripping the steering wheel so hard that I didn't try to put my hand out in an attempt to catch myself. That specific part plays over and over again in my head. It's weird how it seemed to happen so quickly, but also in slow motion. How is that possible? I knew immediately my left hand was not looking good. It swelled up quick and I couldn't move any of my fingers. My fingers were actually kind of stuck in a weird position like after you jam them super hard. My first thought was.. this thing is going to blow up if I don't get out right now (haha). I unbuckled myself and turned off the razor and jumped out the top of the razor. I couldn't really think clearly about what had happened. I just knew I was super nauseous. I paced around the road trying to make sense of it all. Looking at my left hand it looked like it had already swelled up to twice the size but I couldn't feel the pain yet. It was just stuck. Luckily I remembered that we have walkie talkies and I thought to message Mark. I honestly didn't think he'd respond being as far away as he was. I could hardly get the words out but I remember saying, "Mark.. Mark? Are you there?" Nothing. "Caleb.. Cam? Are you there?" Then thankfully I heard marks voice come through. I wasn't sure if it was Mark Bowden or my Mark but I started to cry and hyperventilate a little. Mark had no idea what I was trying to say. He says he thought I shot a buck and was just too excited to get words out. I said, "Mark I crashed the razor.. I'm okay but I think my hand is broken". He said he was coming to get me so I decided to just kneel by the side of the road to catch my breath. That's when things started to sink in a little. I started to dry heave thinking I might throw up but nothing came out. I sat down, then stood up, sat down again. A truck came down the road with probably 5 or 6 people in the bed of the truck. They all stared at me not knowing what to say. They started to jump out asking if I was okay and I just waved them off and said my husband was on the way. I didn't want to talk or have any help. I was starting to feel mad that this was happening and wondered if Mark would be mad that I ended his night hunt early (which he does give me crap for.. but no he wasn't mad haha). A bunch of guys jumped out and asked if I wanted them to put the razor back on it's tires and I just said "sure". One of the people that jumped out of the truck came up to me and told me she was a nurse and wanted to know if she could examine me. She asked me where I was hurting and I told her my left hand was starting to throb a little. They laid me down on my back and started putting jackets on me because I started to shiver a little. The nurse went back to the truck and came back with ice and started to ice my hand. Which kind of sucked. She found some sticks and some bandaging material to splint my hand so that was pretty cool. While we waited for Mark to come down I tried to lighten the mood a little. I asked "Has anyone seen any bomber bucks yet? Has anyone taken a shot?" They were a little taken aback from that and just kind of laughed and said not yet. I felt bad they were all just standing around me. One of the guys said the razor looked to still be in perfect condition so I immediately asked how my bow looked. I forgot it was in the front seat. He laughed as he walked back to the razor and he told me the bow looks good too. As they were talking to me I kept grabbing my stomach so one of the girls asked if my stomach hurt. I said, "No but I'm like 7 weeks pregnant so I do that sometimes". After I said that the nurse looked worried and started to palpate my abdomen in different quadrants asking if anything hurt. Nothing did. They asked if I wanted them to call the ambulance and I said no I'll just wait to my husband. They were starting to worry me a little. Finally after what seemed like forever Mark pulled up in the four wheeler and I think he said something like, "What did ya do this time sweetie?" The girls kept telling Mark that we really should call an ambulance and he said "Nah, she's fine". He asked me how I was feeling, then all the emotions came. I started thinking about the baby and thought how selfish I was to be worried about my bow and mad that I wrecked instead of thinking about the baby. They said I should get an ultrasound to check on the baby and I started to panic a little, which Mark could sense. I started to cry and think that my stomach was hurting when it probably wasn't. The nurse kept trying to get me to count and say the ABC's over and over again. Mark just kept reassuring me that everything was going to be just fine. Mark Bowden then pulled up in his car and they all helped me stand up and put me in the back seat of the car so we could head to a hospital. We all started driving, kind of fast, then hit a huge dip in the road. My butt definitely lifted off the seat and I got some serious air. I still remember seeing both Marks whip their whole body around to look at me and see if I was okay. I just smiled and told them I was fine. Mark Bowden said that we should pull over and give me a blessing, which we did. I remember on the drive to the hospital all I wanted to do was sleep. My eyes felt so heavy. They put a huge blanket on my lap for my arm to stay elevated and even gave me a puke bag just in case. We pulled up to instant care and was closed already by about 20 minutes. So we had to go to the ER. I was expecting that to be a little different.. but they made us wait and fill out paperwork and of course none of us had wallets or any other information. They finally took us back and the nurse took my blood pressure and asked what had happened. We took off my splint and she said, "Well you've earned yourself an x-ray". By now it was swollen and bruised looking. They double gowned me with lead aprons once they heard I was pregnant and made me take some awkward radiographs of my thumb. The nurse told me before that they could take the x-rays but had to send them to Salt Lake for them to interpret them. They said they wouldn't be able to tell us much until they heard back. As soon as I got out of the room and made my way back to the exam room the nurse stopped me and said, "You're definitely going to need surgery". She showed me the x-rays and showed me where my first metacarpal was supposed to be and where it was. My heart sunk because I knew that meant the archery hunt was officially over for me.
They gave me a temporary splint to wear and gave us the option to do surgery there the next morning or go back home the next day. On the way back to camp I was just trying to hold back my tears and anger. We stopped for food but I wasn't hungry. I felt sick still. And pissed. We got back to camp and I went straight into the trailer to try to sleep. That was a long night. Because I was pregnant there wasn't much I could take to relieve the pain. I slept with my hand on a pillow through the night. Mark and I decided it'd be better to head home that next morning and have surgery done closer to home. I kept crying on the way. I didn't know if the baby was okay and I was mad that I ruined the hunt. We got into a clinic that morning. They looked at my x-rays and took a look at my thumb. He was about to say something when I interrupted and said, "Did they also tell you I'm pregnant?". He paused and said, "Well, I was just about to ask you how tomorrow sounds but that changes things a little". He left the room and I don't think he knew I could actually hear him talking to the surgeon outside the door. "We have a first metacarpal fracture that I wanted to schedule tomorrow but she's about 7 weeks pregnant". All the surgeon did was made a wince sound. So I cried some more. They came in and told us that I'd just have to be awake in the surgery and that they could do a nerve block so I wouldn't feel a thing.
The next morning Mark drove me to Provo for surgery. I have to admit I was really impressed with this place. Central Utah Surgical Center is what is was called. They were all amazing to work with. I was, of course, very nervous but they did everything they could to accommodate me. I don't remember a lot about that morning except changing into the gown and them putting the IV in. One of the nurses came in to see if they could find my babys heartbeat and when she couldn't I wanted to cry again. But Mark talked me down and said we're still early and there's nothing to worry about. The nurses reassured me that I wasn't very far along at all and if I were even a week later they could probably find it. When one of the Dr's came in to do my nerve block.. that part I remember. I don't think I'll ever forget. He got out the ultrasound and asked me to raise my arm above my head. He started to probe in my arm pit. He was great and tried to explain what he was doing and would apologize when it hurt. Which it did. The best way I can describe that is my nerves felt like guitar strings that he just kept plucking and then when he hit a nerve and started to inject the lidocaine it burned like crazy. The Dr's and nurses kept telling me that I was a rock star for doing this without anesthesia. I remind Mark all the time. After that was over I couldn't feel my entire left arm. It was so weird. They put it in a big splint so it wouldn't flop around. I had to use the bathroom from all the fluids and I remember trying to get up and my arm swung up and hit me in the face. It was pretty funny. After that it was time for surgery. I got emotional when I had to say bye to Mark and he went to the waiting room. They wheeled me into surgery on a table and everything seemed so cold. Dr. Johnson was the one performing my surgery and he was awesome. He kept making sure I was comfortable. I couldn't see what was happening because they put a sheet up but I could hear the drilling as they placed the pins.. He said to pretend I was at the dentist. Not sure that helped. The staff was all great to work with and kept talking to me to distract me. They even had music playing. It seemed like I was in and out of surgery real quick. Mark says he was in the waiting area maybe 30-40 minutes.
We got home and situated that day. I didn't have a lot for pain meds, again because of Walker (you better be worth it buddy). Luckily I was numb for quite a bit after the surgery which was nice. It was real creepy when my fingers would touch my leg and I didn't know what was touching me. I talked Mark into going back out on the hunt. He felt so bad but I told him that was what I really wanted. I didn't want to hold him back more. So he left that day. I remember when the block started to wear off and the pain came. That was not super fun. I watched a lot of netflix and the dogs kept me company. I kept ice on it most of the time but it was a huge cast so who knows if it really got through. I honestly expected recovery to be the worst. I wasn't prepared for how many people that are there for me. I got cookies delivered to my door. My sister in law came over and brought me flowers, bath salts, and treats then cleaned my kitchen. My sister came over once a week for quite a while to wash my hair and shave my armpits (there's a lot of things you don't think of that you can't do one handed..). And she'd help fold laundry. My mom came over and helped me prep food to make it easier. I had lots of visitors bring me food and just be there for me. I got packages. I felt so loved. It really made recovery so easy. Luckily, I already had that week requested off work for hunting so I didn't feel like I left them understaffed.
The months and weeks that followed weren't easy but with the help of everyone around me, it was a lot easier. I had to learn to do a lot one handed. Work was really hard for me. I basically had to have a Vet Assistant follow me everywhere to draw up my vaccines or hold a dog for the Dr. I hated having to rely on someone but we made it work. I started with a giant bandage and slowly over the weeks it got smaller. Then they removed the pins. That was interesting. I expected it to hurt but it didn't really. It was just creepy looking. My hand did not look like my hand. There was no muscle. They took a few post op radiographs a few weeks later and determined I was ready for physical therapy. The first day was real discouraging. I loved my therapist Brad Mangum, he made it fun. Some days I wanted to punch him but mostly it was fun. I just remember the first day he'd ask me to do certain ranges of motion and I felt like I was pushing so hard and nothing was happening. I wanted to cry (I know I know, I want to cry a lot but I'm pregnant and just went through something traumatic okay?!). I went to therapy for a few months and learned more stretches and ways to torture my thumb. I think finally in November I graduated from physical therapy and no longer needed any kind of splint. A long journey.. In January I drew my bow back for the first time since the accident and I was surprised to see I still had the strength to pull it back. We actually went on a Coues hunt hoping I could find a buck with my bow. It was a lot of fun but I never got close enough.
Basically the whole point of this blog post is to say.. I hope this dang kid is worth having my thumb drilled into without anesthesia AND not having any good pain medications afterward. But he will be. Can't wait to meet my future little buddy.
